1) I was sad.
2) Even though I felt okay after a tiny accident (both physically and nerves-wise), the cumulative effect of honks, dicey merges, close calls with cars making left turns right in front of me, etc., wore me down to the point where I often really didn't look forward to riding.
3) I had a really nice ride into Manhattan last fall which had some bad moments when the Manhattan(?) bridge had a really fast, steep drop-off into Brooklyn, and I just couldn't get enough leverage on my brakes. Was angry at myself for not having big enough or strong enough hands. Finally realized my brakes are badly adjusted.
4) THAT HORRIBLE WINTER.
I think maybe it would be easier if I didn't put pressure on myself to commute, even though it would save time? Even if I rode my bike a little before/after work when I had time, and on weekends? I know that I need a lot of physical training to be able to do long-distance rides, but... yeah, ultimately I'm much more interested in riding to the Hudson or the Rockaways or up into New Jersey or to get pie than riding to work. And commuting is much more a game of terrifying Frogger than actual physical conditioning. (Prospect Park has all the hills I need, at least for now.)
Will try and get my brakes adjusted this weekend. Then, pie?