Daily Happiness

Mar. 6th, 2015 12:10 am
torachan: ryu from kimi ni todoke eating ramen (ramen)
[personal profile] torachan
1. I got my paycheck today and it was indeed significantly larger than usual.

2. I also got my California tax refund!

3. Because of 1 & 2, we got pizza for dinner.

4. I had a whole bunch of expired pound cakes that I wasn't sure the vendor was going to give me credit for, but not only did he give credit, but he left the pound cakes there for us to eat. :D I've been having some for breakfast the past couple days.

Free writing prompt

Mar. 6th, 2015 12:05 am
aris_tgd: I feel like a Vorlon on its back--I can't get up and it's my fault! (amused at own stupidity)
[personal profile] aris_tgd
I just got an amusing spam message (Sandwich.net's spam filter program is really good, so I usually don't get these.) I thought I'd leave it here as some kind of writing prompt:

Mild incoherence and gay wizards under cut. )

... Seriously, though, this sounds like it could be incorporated in some kind of story.


Mar. 5th, 2015 10:30 pm
torachan: brandon flowers of the killers with the text "some beautiful boy to save you" (some beautiful boy to save you)
[personal profile] torachan
I actually have been listening to some new music these days, by way of the satellite music thingy we have at work. When I hear a song I like, I sometimes remember to shazam it. The problem is remembering to take a look at my shazammed songs when I'm home and can look for downloads, but I actually did that today and will now share with you some of my new discoveries!

I was going to write up something about each song except it was all just "it's catchy!" (Though I will say Feel This Moment is particularly notable for its sampling of Take On Me.)

Justin Timberlake - Mirrors

Meghan Trainor - Dear Future Husband

Pitbull feat. Christina Aguilera - Feel This Moment

Kelly Clarkson - Heartbeat Song

Rixton - Me and My Broken Heart

Bryan Adams - Here I Am

Brandon Heath - You Decide

Okay, this next one was not actually new to me, apparently. But I shazammed it more than once because the title just would not stick in my mind, and then today when I went to download it I found I actually already had it on my harddrive! But it's really good so I wanted to include it. :D

Celine Dion - That's the Way It Is

(no subject)

Mar. 5th, 2015 11:53 pm
staranise: A star anise floating in a cup of mint tea (Default)
[personal profile] staranise

I just had a really liberating thought.

I meet with people at my practicum site tomorrow andIwas talking to a friend about how I'm worried they'll think I'm disorganized and not good enough blah blah blah, and she asked what I'd do if they said something about it.

AndIsaid, "Honestly, I wouldn't fight them on it. I am disorganized and I do need to be prodded into producing paperwork and I need my butt kicked to be productive. So if they want my work with them to be a success and I'm being unsatisfactory, either they need to give me more support so I can do my job, or we should call the whole thing off right now."

Because right now the option of "do better" is beyond my capacity right now. I am working as hard as I can and my brain alone cannot do any better.

Oh my god, the amazingness of saying, Yes. I'm doing the best I can and here are the burdens I'm carrying. You can help me or I can walk. Those are the only two options.

Being a grownup is awesome.

Nope nope nope nope nope nope

Mar. 5th, 2015 11:52 pm
pinesandmaples: A donut, floating above a football stadium with the text "It's like bringing a donut to a football stadium." (stupid you: donut)
[personal profile] pinesandmaples
I got a message on OKCupid tonight from someone who was a 38% match. The opening line on their profile?
"Well for starters, no offense, but those in an "open" relationship are selfish. I mean you already have someone to wake up to, but yet you just want something on the side? Some of us can't even find initial love, so why are you so greedy?"
Since my profile indicates that I'm (a) poly and (b) looking for a casual secondary in the very first sentence, I have a sneaking suspicion that someone can't read for context very well.

The profile goes on to insult lesbians with children, religious people, and people who like classical music. I'd say this one is a real winner.


Mar. 5th, 2015 09:24 pm
synecdochic: torso of a man wearing jeans, hands bound with belt (Default)
[personal profile] synecdochic
Sarah's doing science again. With a blowtorch!


Mar. 5th, 2015 06:27 pm
serendipity8791: (Default)
[personal profile] serendipity8791
The verdict was that there is no evidence of a clot, so the likelihood of DVT is near null.

Watching the Doppler imaging on the screen was fascinating.

They will be sending the images and results to my doctor who will then decide whether to order a different test or see if the bump goes away by itself.

It does behave a bit like a shin splint, so it could very well be that.
purplecat: Texture by simpleandclean (LiveJournal) (Doctor Who)
[personal profile] purplecat
I feel that The Daleks In Manhattan/Evolution of the Daleks failed in part because it didn't have the courage of its convictions and the sets and costumes weren't quite up to the job. On the other hand I think The Sontaran Strategem/The Poison Sky succeeds quite well at what it is trying to do, I'm just not that interested in it.

More under the Cut )

It's just, at the end of the day, this is one of the show's big spectacular two-parters with an emphasis on action and humour. It knows what its doing and, like Planet of the Ood feels less like a place-holder than many episodes in seasons 2 and 3, but I think I prefer Doctor Who stories when they are being a bit cleverer than this and possibly that when they are silly, that they are a bit cleverer (and possibly more serious) about the silliness.

OTW Fannews: Sharing Fandom

Mar. 5th, 2015 06:35 pm
[syndicated profile] otw_news_feed

Posted by Janita Burgess


Banner with text that reads OTW Fannews Sharing Fandom

  • Writer Shawna Benson examined patterns of fandom growth and activity that she'd observed while moderating social media for The 100's Writers’ Room, as well as social media lessons learned. "Yes, we sell the US shows to other countries, but what do we do to accommodate those fanbases which spring up in other countries? Suddenly, the 'official' accounts feel less useful. They don’t get the CW in the UK, Australia, Brazil, France or Spain, or even Canada — the main countries which outside of the U.S. watch The 100. How do we accommodate those fans? The official accounts are restricted in this. Guess what? Writers’ rooms are not."
  • As part of International Fanworks Day, LiveJournal community Mari di Challenge interviewed OTW Translation Committee chairs Hele Braunstein and Priscilla del Cima about the committee's work (article in Italian). Both spoke about their fannish backgrounds, how AO3 fits together with the OTW and its other projects, how the organization sustains those projects financially and personnel-wise, what the OTW's vision of fandom is, and what changes might happen in the next five years.
  • Book review blogger Traci began a series of posts about the OTW. "I was recently reading an article and it was mentioned that media seems to 'see bronies as far more newsworthy that Organization for Transformative Works or the Vlogbrothers' Nerdfighter movement.' Now, I see a lot of things about Nerfighters, and the Green brothers in particular, but have not seen much on OTW outside of those in the know. So I decided to fangirl all over one of my favorite organizations for a post. Then I realized that I would need at least a couple posts to fully share my love and appreciation."
  • The Verge's Entertainment Editor Emily Yoshida discussed her discovery of fanfiction on the StarWarsChicks.com posting board. "One of the first things I was drawn to besides the message board was...The Library, it was a fanfic archive of the stories everyone in the community had written." She was asked to speculate about why fanfic writers seemed to be mostly by female writers. She suggested that the medium of writing was better suited to women. "It's non-visual, it takes a long time to read somebody's whole novel...and that's the payoff is this expectation and this waiting and this buildup...but it gets that same kind of following and addictive aspect to it." (No transcript available).

Fanlore is a place for all fans to share their knowledge about fans and fandoms. Add details to an existing entry or start a new one!

We want your suggestions! If you know of an essay, video, article, podcast, or link you think we should know about, comment on the most recent OTW Fannews post. Links are welcome in all languages! Submitting a link doesn't guarantee that it will be included in a Fannews post, and inclusion of a link doesn't mean that it is endorsed by the OTW.


OTW Fannews: Sharing Fandom

Mar. 5th, 2015 11:38 am
otw_staff: Janita OTW Communications Staffer (Janita OTW Communications Staffer)
[personal profile] otw_staff posting in [community profile] otw_news
Banner with text that reads OTW Fannews Sharing Fandom

Writer Shawna Benson examined patterns of fandom growth and activity that she'd observed while moderating social media for The 100's Writers’ Room, as well as social media lessons learned. "Yes, we sell the US shows to other countries, but what do we do to accommodate those fanbases which spring up in other countries? Suddenly, the 'official' accounts feel less useful. They don’t get the CW in the UK, Australia, Brazil, France or Spain, or even Canada — the main countries which outside of the U.S. watch The 100. How do we accommodate those fans? The official accounts are restricted in this. Guess what? Writers’ rooms are not."

Yes, fandom is international & that means sharing with everyone & finding ways to overcome confusion.

Dreamwidth: Quote #675

Mar. 5th, 2015 05:30 pm
[personal profile] figment_bot posting in [community profile] dwqdb
[08:16] <_Simon_> however, I am delighted to see that there is a page entitled "List of unicorns".
[08:16] <_Simon_> ...which is in the category "Low-importance literature articles".
[08:25] <kaberett> shd clearly be categorised as zoology
[08:46] <_Simon_> as opposed to mythology? :-)
[08:46] <exor674> mythical zoology?
[08:46] <kaberett> cryptozoology? :-p
[08:48] <exor674> kaberett: isn't that what you do when you accidentally RSA your cat?

#675 -- #dreamwidth, 2015-03-05 - submitted by [info - DW]azurelunatic in Dreamwidth

Day 2 works are now live!

Mar. 5th, 2015 06:57 pm
marina: (jewy)
[personal profile] marina posting in [community profile] purimgifts
Purimgifts Day 2 works are now LIVE! Go here to browse them all.

For any problem, please contact the mods!

Happy reading! Please remember to leave some sort of feedback for your gift-er :)

The Mayo Clinic is gorgeous

Mar. 5th, 2015 02:48 pm
[syndicated profile] thinkingtoomuch_feed

Posted by Sigrid Ellis

Yesterday I was in Rochester at the Mayo Clinic for …. hours and hours. An appointment in the morning and then one in the late afternoon. But J and I made the absolute best of it, and explored the gorgeousness of the Mayo Clinic.

Here’s my Instagram feed, with the photos.

We took the self-guided art tour — well, the first half of it anyway.

I kept saying things like, “they have a Rodin,” or, “they have a Calder,” in the same tone that Boromir says “they have a Cave-Troll” in Fellowship of the Rings. Because there was a Rodin bronze sitting in a foyer next to a flight of stairs, for pity’s sake! There’s a damn Calder just hanging over a stairwell!

It is gorgeous. I know I said that before, but it just IS. It’s …

… it’s a sharing of art and beauty and the best things humans can do, sitting out there for everyone to see and share. It’s wonderful.

We also got a tour of the carillon. A carillon, for those who may not know, is a set of ENORMOUS FREAKING BELLS that people play music on for the entire town to hear. We climbed the tower, got the tour, and stood in the booth while the current caretaker played the noon concert. Those pictures are also in my Instagram.

(It occurs to me that if you read this post in six weeks, my Instagram feed will have other more recent photos at the top. Scroll back.)

When J looked up the Mayo Clinic carillon on Wikipedia, the photo is of the guy who gave us the tour. It was wonderful.


Oh, and, I suppose I could mention the medical part of the visit. No result, no diagnosis, no news. The next step is a visit at the end of April to discuss how to live with this.

But the Mayo Clinic is damn beautiful.



(no subject)

Mar. 5th, 2015 03:33 pm
naath: (Default)
[personal profile] naath
Died on this day in 1830 aged 62 Lady Augusta Murray(my toy,wikipedia). Wife of Prince Augustus (son of George III); except not, because their marriage was in contravention of the Royal Marriages Act. Augustus continued living with her anyway, until he was given a lot of money not to, and after that Augusta retained custody of their two children and was given 4,000 pounds a year to live on. I bet it really sucks to be told you can't marry the person you wanted to, not because they don't want to, but because the King Says No.

Born on this day in 1133 to Count Geoffrey V of Anjou and Empress Matilda King Henry II of England(my toy,wikipedia). Henry was the son of Matilda and Geoffrey of Anjou, he was born in France and grew up in his mother's household. Although Matilda lost to Stephen, the agreement reached was that Henry should be Stephen's heir, eventually Henry took England by force.

(no subject)

Mar. 5th, 2015 10:26 am
seekingferret: Photo of me with my 2012 Purim beard, with stripes shaven into it. (Default)
[personal profile] seekingferret
Notes on [personal profile] ghost_lingering's amazing "Silent Fandoms" vid/not!vid/experimental video/thing. Some new observations, some adapted from the rants that constituted my beta notes on an earlier version of the vid. Fair warning: I've been thinking about "Silent Fandoms" since [personal profile] ghost_lingering first told me her ideas back in November. I have a lot to say.

-Having just read, in the OTW's submission to the Library of Congress for extending the vidding exemption from the DMCA, an essay on fannish boundary policing in terms of what constitutes a fanvid, I'm hesitant to make any judgement on whether or not "Silent Fandoms" is a vid or not. In my estimation it probably is, but I'm inclined to defer to [personal profile] ghost_lingering's not!vid name, and I think I do understand the sentiment. There are a lot of fannish expectations about what a vid looks like that this not!vid violates. At the same time, it is a submission for Festivids involving fannish video set to music, so by the clearest definition of fanvid anyone can come up with, it's hard to argue that it's not one. I don't know, so like I said, I'm inclined to defer to the vidder's wishes.

-I love that [personal profile] ghost_lingering uses 4'33" in its classical mode, but also in a less passive mode. By which I mean, classically we understand 4'33" to involve the composer reflecting back the obligation of creating sound and meaning to the audience. If a critic argues that there is a musical content to 4'33", which is not something there is universal agreement about, but for those critics who believe there is, they usually point to the sounds made by the audience, by the concert hall itself, by other ambient presences. The pianist is not the one creating the music, they are creating the space in which the music happens.

This not!vid definitely uses that technique. It makes wonderful use of silences, and it makes use of other vidders' work and ideas to create a space where the viewer has to create meaning. The effect is very deliberately like reveals day, where there are hundreds of new vids, most in fandoms the viewer doesn't know, and the viewer needs to weed through them to find the ones that have meaning for them- either because they already know the fandom, or because the vid introduces them to fandoms and elements of fandoms that they find exciting. Because there is such a volume of information, and because by the nature of Festivids, different viewers will key onto different elements of that swarm of information, every viewer's experience of "Silent Fandoms" is completely their own. Of course, this is true of any vid, any piece of media that someone consumes, but it is more apparently true here because of the contextualization against 4'33", against a silence that by the absence it creates, actively encourages the viewer to add themselves into the story.

But at the same time the not!vid also, more actively, pushing specific and intentional messages and ideas about vidding and particularly about Festivids. In particular, the not!vid comments on what I've labeled the classical mode, by enlisting 4'33" into a conversation about the 'volume' of fandoms. "Silent Fandoms" isn't just meta on Festivids, it's also meta on 4'33". It's not set to 4'33", it's set to a remix of 4'33", because the kind of silence [personal profile] ghost_lingering wanted was a lot more active and deliberate, a lot less aleatoric than Cage supplies. "Fandom is a conversation", one of the snippets in the not!vid says, and by intention I think "Silent Fandoms" hosts a particular conversation.

And you have a wonderful contrast: On the one hand, there is the AU Reveals Day where all the unvidded fandoms get their volumes turned up, but at the same time [personal profile] ghost_lingering brings out carefully curated quotes from an array of vidders about the unique set of frustrations and satisfactions that comes from being in small fandoms. And because every viewer is creating their own version of the vid by picking out pieces that have meaning to them, it becomes really clear how Festivids is an uncommunity based not on shared love of particular content qua most fandoms, but on shared tools, that there are many miniature communities of Festividders within Festivids.

-Which leads me to what I think is one of the major themes of "Silent Fandoms", this idea of uncommunity. In the weeks between golive and reveals, hanging out in #vidding, someone pointed out that there were 160 vids, but the ten or fifteen people who were guessing on the guessing thread were only guessing about ten or fifteen vidders. The thing about Festivids is that it isn't a community. I mean, obviously, it is a community, it's a group of people who get together once a year to make vids for each other, but it's not really one unified group where everyone knows everyone. It's a bunch of smaller groups with some amount of overlap, and not everyone knows everyone, and not everyone likes everyone, and not everyone vids the same way.

Because I've met [personal profile] ghost_lingering in real life, because she overlaps with my community more than a lot of other Festivids participants, I immediately recognized her through the distorting filters in that shot towards the end of the not!vid where she's eating soup. And while betaing we talked a bit about whether that compromised the anonymity of the vid. Ultimately, we concluded it didn't since only a very small handful of Festividders know what she looks like (I guess a rather larger number of Festividders do now), and most of us were already spoiled because as members of her particular Festivids subcommunity, we'd been recruited for brainstorming and betaing anyway. [personal profile] ghost_lingering told me that another beta who didn't know what she looks like had asked "Is that you?" and I saw similar questions in the comments section after "Silent Fandoms" was aired. That ambiguity that for me wasn't an ambiguity highlighted how clever the identity play is in that moment.

Vidding is a visual medium, but vidders mostly communicate via text, so we don't know what most of the rest of us look like, and we don't know what most of the rest of us sound like. In that way, too, there is something Silent about our fandom. Vidders hide behind our vids, letting the art do the visual communication for us. I love that [personal profile] ghost_lingering violates that taboo by becoming herself a visual element of her not!vid, much as she violates the taboo by letting audio recordings of other vidders become audio components of the 4'33" remix. As much as "Silent Fandoms" is about bringing forward the fandoms that never get attention, it is also about bringing forward the vidders themselves, who also never get attention, who stand silently behind their vids. I think that's one of the reasons why the credits, the amazingly dense credits, are a key visual element of the presentation, because the fellowship of vidders become characters in "Silent Fandoms". That's also why the not!vid traces the process of creating a Festivid. It begins with getting the assignment and then, by progressive zooms and transforms of the text of the assignment, models the process of emotional and intellectually processing the request and figuring out how to vid it. Then it moves to the video editor and the construction of the timeline (many timelines! many different vidders working in parallel on different projects!). And it concludes with the familiar FV-Poster pages where Festivids are posted and publicly available for enjoyment and dissection. This experience is the only shared experience of all Festividders, so it is naturally the narrative throughline of the vid from beginning to end.

One of my favorite moments in the vid is at 2:13, when we see the "Vids are Due in 8 Days" clip from 4:06. The viewer watching the first time cannot possibly understand its meaning, but the viewer watching Silent Fandoms for the tenth time, unpacking its meaning, knows exactly what that shot is doing there. It's injecting ghost-lingering into the not!vid, and it's also specifically inviting rewatches.

This idea of uncommunity is built fabulously by the Behind the Scenes vid/not!vid. It's 20 minutes long and nobody, not even the people who made the vidlets, knows all the fandoms. So a person flips through and their eye is caught by the things they're familiar with. I loved [personal profile] chaila's comment on the vid: "Many people have smart things to say above, and I'm like I SPY BORGEN and my fav Borgen lady and her EPIC SWAGGERING." I think [personal profile] chaila's response is precisely on point, that by design this not!vid will have not just different responses but radically different responses, because the people coming to a Festivid come from so many different vidding experiences.

For me, personally, the vid snippets that jumped out to me as part of my own not!festivids experience include the Batman vidlet to "Behind Blue Eyes", the Ghostwriter vidlet that was specifically for me, the Borgen vidlet to Dessa, the WarGames vidlet to "Deep Blue", the Blazing Saddles vid, the Noah's Arc Losing Our Religions hat-tip,

In my world, the Adam West Batman to "Behind Blue Eyes" is the perfect vid snippet. The quick-hit, instantly obvious joke that is narrowly tailored to the most ridiculous detail of [personal profile] elipie's request is a wonderful statement of the power of Festivids to interrogate our desires as vidders. I checked on this during the beta process- there are multiple other Batman "Behind Blue Eyes" on youtube, though this is the only Adam West one... because it is utterly inappropriate for Adam West beyond the one note joke. What I love about this is that it is absolutely a not!vid. It is not sustainable as a vid, it is not tantalizing in its promise of further effort, it is just a joke that works perfectly at its length.

The Ghostwriter snippet, meanwhile, is tantalizing, because it offers a little bit of Jamal/Lenny, a little bit of visual textual play, and then before we can get anywhere with it it's over. I want more! All the Ghostwriter vids! Similarly, the Borgen vidlet is the obvious and perfect Borgen song, in a tiny taste that leaves us wanting the full version, leaves us wanting the fandom to be louder. And "Deep Blue"? I think I gave that song to [personal profile] sanguinity, and I think I now want to make that full vid myself. Damn you, [personal profile] sanguinity!

Meanwhile, the joke of [personal profile] ghost_lingering making even more snippets to "Losing My Religion" will never stop making me crack up. What, "Losing Our Religions" wasn't enough? She had dug up so many extra covers of the song while making Sarah Connor Chronicles snippets that they would have been wasted if she hadn't used them on this project? I love [personal profile] ghost_lingering's ambitious approach to vid exchanges, which we've seen twice now with gifts over 20 minutes in total length. I love that when she gets a crazy overambitious idea, she follows through, and she follows through magnificently even if she may regret the commitment.

-The whole idea of a 4'33" "mashup" is wonderful and terrible at the same time. I feel very strongly about the power of formal structures in art: sonnets and Madonna and Childs and James Bond movies and string quartets, patterns that artists deliberately force their work into because of the benefits of working within the structure. It works because you follow the rules imposed, and find your creativity within the restriction. And there are only limited circumstances in which you can violate the rules of the structure and still have a meaningful work of art.

I think it's hard to parse out exactly when those moments are. I remember struggling in high school with my junior English teacher teaching us Hemingway while simultaneously telling us not to write like him. As a somewhat more mature artist now, I am less frustrated by the idea that breaking the rules of a formal artistic structure is a difficult judgement call that an artist needs to make, because I have a clearer idea of the kinds of parameters you need to consider when making that decision. Violating the rules has its own artistic effect, jarring the audience and forcing them to rethink their expectations, and if you do that correctly it can be powerful, but if you do it wrong, it can destroy any beauty in the art. And the flip side is that if a rule is not clear enough in an audience's mind, breaking it has no effect other than to violate the purity of the structure and weaken the art.

4'33" is a tricky formal structure to work with because it is itself designed as a violation of the rules of the classical concert hall. A musician or group of musicians gets on stage, sets a score in front of them, and then as the audience expects them to play a piece of music, they don't play anything. That silence is itself the formal structure, but it's also a perversion of a different, more classical formal structure. And this makes the choice to 'mash up' 4'33" with sounds a perilous choice. The risk is that rather than sounding like 4'33" with sound, it will just sound like a bunch of random sounds.

I think [personal profile] ghost_lingering manages to avoid this trap though, for a couple reasons. The first is that the first 21 seconds of the mashup truly are just ambient noises, and the first non-ambient noise we hear is a beep that chimes in the transition between "Vid to John Cage's 4'33" if you want" and "To a John Cage Mashup". That beep is an advertisement of the balance that is being struck between the silence and the noise of fannish activity. And it follows 21 seconds of silence that up until this point has gone unexplained. The length of Cage's piece is arbitrary. He could have made the same point with a composition called 4'32" or 4'34", or for that matter 0'21". For the first 21 seconds, [personal profile] ghost_lingering draws the viewer into the world of Cage's silence, and then with a beep she jars the audience into a new formal paradigm. It's startlingly effective.

The second reason I alluded to briefly before. Even after that transition into the mashup, even after we start to hear sounds of vidders talking about Festivids and snippets of the music from not!vids weaving their way into the mix against the ambient noises of a number of different versions of 4'33", the idea of silence remains the vid's primary theme. We get quotations from other vidders about the level of silence in their fandoms. In a beautiful sequence that begins at 3:07, we get a series of windows with not!vids layered on top of each other. The vid on top moves for a few seconds, and then the cursor clicks on the upper left corner and the vid disappears, and on we move down the pile, extinguishing the life of the vids in parody of Haydn's "Farewell Symphony". And most persistently of all, we have the vid's title, "Silent Fandoms". No matter how much noise we hear in the vid once the mashup section begins at 0:21, we cannot forget the connection to Cage.

There's something brilliantly askew about vidding Festivids by using silence and non-Festividded fandoms to talk about what makes Festivids great. Your first expectation on hearing that someone is going to make a Festivid Festivid is that it'll follow the pattern of "One Night Fandoms" and be a tribute to things actually made for Festivids, especially if you're making a vid for the co-creator of "One Night Fandoms". I pointed out that this vid is literally the opposite of "One Night Fandoms", and [personal profile] ghost_lingering responded by putting in some of both the music and video from "One Night Fandoms" into the vid as a hat tip to the influence. Because this vid is nothing if not absurdly self-referential.

At the same time, the silence is meaningful for precisely the reasons laid out by the vidder comments in the vid. The fandoms Festivids is for are tiny, quiet fandoms. As much as Festivids is a gift exchange, an intimate one-to-one conversation between two vidders who share a fandom, it also constitutes a bazaar where every vid is an advertisement for a fandom that doesn't get attention. The act of unifying these fandoms under the Festivids banner serves to amplify all of their sounds together, as people who would never show interest in rare fandoms cluster to watch Festivids. One motivation Festividders have in participating is to put the call of their quiet fandoms out their for others to hear. And so we get silence, but as the time and the intricacy of the not!vid builds, we also get sounds, shouts in the street. They constitute calls for attention. And yet not all calls for attention earn the same amount of attention. "Silent Fandoms" is carefully crafted, but it is full of asymmetries, videos that get more or less time or focus for no particular reason other than their place in the overall visual scheme.

-So the end result is that "Silent Fandoms" and its companion "Behind the Scenes" piece create a world of their own that looks at Festivids through a very singular lens and tells many, many stories about it, through its own act of creation. One last contrast between "Silent Fandoms" and "One Night Fandoms": Whereas "One Night Fandoms" was created as a tribute to Yuletide, it is not actually a part of Yuletide. "Silent Fandoms" is itself a Festivid, a gift from a vidder to another vidder, a testimony to the creativity of the whole community but particular a testimony to the creative gifts of [personal profile] ghost_lingering and [personal profile] sanguinity.


Mar. 5th, 2015 06:00 am
metaphortunate: (fooled you again brain)
[personal profile] metaphortunate
Today I plan to talk to my therapist about happiness.

My kids often make me happy. My husband often makes me happy. My problem is that I have realized that I love it when my kids or my husband make me happy; but whenever anything else makes me happy - and there are a shitload of things in the world that could make me happy: gardening, seeing friends, reading books quietly by myself, opera, masturbation, new clothes, massage, rock concerts, a haircut, taking the time to write a post like this: I feel guilty. Because I am taking time and/or energy and/or money that should be spent either on the kids or on Mr. E or on sleep or exercise so that I can be more physically and emotionally able to be a good partner and mother. Seriously: being happy feels like stealing.

And then I wonder WHY I'M NOT HAPPY VERY MUCH.

I am looking forward to hearing what she has to say. [personal profile] hradzka, you would love the shit out of my therapist. Couple weeks ago I brought up some money stress that I've been having: there's this, but then there's that, here's how Mr. E and I are doing stuff, but I might want to change because this other thing, blah blah blah.

She listened carefully to everything I said, then said, "Sounds like you guys need to set up a new bank account. Because then this thing, and this other thing."

I said, "Yeah, that would solve this problem…but ehhh, we haven't done it because awkward, and these feelings, and I have these other feelings."

And she was like "Okay, but your feelings are dumb and boring. What would fix the problem is if you addressed it, like by setting up a new bank account."

And the thing is, because I have been crazy for so long, my feelings ARE dumb and boring! Even I am sick of dealing with them! Of course she did not actually say anything so hurtful. But she was clearly uninterested in noodling around in my ~feelings~ for ages and instead was very clear about the benefits of addressing the problem with an idea for a solution.

Which I did not want to do, because money is hard to talk about. But the great thing about a therapist, as opposed to a self-help book or something like that, is that I could not face going back to her and admitting that yeah, you and I talked about a solution, but I could not bring it up and prefer to remain stressed out about money. Couldn't do it. Instead I sucked it up and talk to Mr. E and we have come up with a solution that we like for now: it is not the same one that my therapist came up with, it is one that works for us better, but we would not have done it if she hadn't given me the kick in the butt.

And I feel better.

Thursday 5 March 2015

Mar. 5th, 2015 11:19 pm
puzzlement: (jelly)
[personal profile] puzzlement
Originally posted at http://puzzling.org.

Andrew and I took some time off work this week to declutter our house in a very serious way: we emptied piles of boxes remaining from our last house move (3 years ago), we donated about ⅔ of our books and nearly all our computer games to the Lifeline book fairs, we assembled the Ikea wardrobe that’s been in flat packs for over a year since I impulse purchased it.

It’s an exercise in saying goodbye to some of the dreams and beliefs of the Mary of 15 or so years ago. Or not. For example, I’ve well and truly accepted that I won’t ever play judo again (my right shoulder would need a reconstruction first) and so giving away the gi was fine. I was sort of surprised we still had it. But apparently I am not willing to accept that just because it’s been 15 years since I took a recorder lesson that I will never seriously play again, and couldn’t bear to throw out the instruments or the sheet music. Perhaps next time. Giving away our games was somewhere in the middle: I’ve wanted to be the kind of person who finishes Dragon’s Age (or Baldur’s Gate back in the day) for most of my life, and I just never quite do. I can finish games in the Diablo franchise and that’s it. That said, it’s hard to know long term; the big problem with hobbies is, why would I have them and squeeze the very little time I feel I have with my family even harder? Once the children have hobbies of their own, it may be different.

Right now we’re in a bit of a maelstrom of change as it is. Still getting used to V being in school, which is further away than his daycare was and so the commute is longer. Still getting used to packing lunches, finding uniforms, managing his schedule for after school care, drama lessons, sports day (Tuesday), news day (Thursday). Work is churning a bit, I’ve spent my holiday flipping in and out of work tasks surrounded by seas of books and broken baby equipment on their way out of our house.

I think I may have started on a nostalgia kick going to see The Grand Budapest Hotel with Andrew at the Moonlight Cinema. Not because of the movie, but the venue. It’s an open air cinema in Centennial Park; I first went there in 2001 to see Lantana with Sandra. Andrew and I saw Secretary there, Yo Mama Tambien, Casablanca, Gosford Park, Priscilla Queen of the Desert… But all many years ago, mostly lugging one of my ludicrously over-catered picnics there from a Bondi Junction supermarket. (It’s not a picnic unless there’s cheese and dips and a few varieties of fruit and some cold meats and at least two breads, am I right?) It was always a good reunion for the university crowd who weren’t as naturally in touch over summer.

But when we moved to Hornsby we were about two hours on public transport away from it, and by the time we moved closer again, we had kids. Our kids are not the out-after-dark type: A in particular sleeps extremely well, but if and only if she’s in her own bed. And the last thing I want to do with my supposed free time is spending it interviewing babysitters and negotiating their availability with them so we haven’t gone out at night much at all in the last five years. But, I was under the gun over summer with V’s daycare shutting down for a break, and finally connected with a babysitter agency, and so now, as a side-effect, we can go out at night and the agency worries about finding a sitter.

And so, back to the Moonlight Cinema. It was a bit spooky, not least because the park has now been altered to suit the cinema rather than the other way round. I’m pretty sure they’ve removed an awkwardly placed tree, and very sure they’ve flattened the ground and laid new turf so that it’s not a game of claim-your-own-dusty-rut before the movie begins. It was already true the last time I was there that there was catering and so there was no burden of cheese-and-dips-and-fruit-and-all to lug in and to feel around for awkwardly in the dark. But it was still odd.

I’m still a young enough adult to be continually surprised how long ago some of my adulthood was.

Tomorrow we are having a post-clutter day, and going to the beach together in the morning followed by lunch at The Boathuse. Andrew and I have almost never gone to the beach alone together. Less nostalgia and more creation.

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